Allo, Allo.. It's Far From The Madeline Grant


This maybe improper but I find Madeline Grant who’s a Telegraph contributor unpleasant at best. Political allegiance is neither here or there, for I genuinely don’t just gauge people on if I agree with their body politic, for being a polemicist, there’s much to be aggrieved; however, I wouldn’t call anyone unpleasant at best, apart from Madeline Grant. For a whippersnapper she’s audacious without earned respect. I can see her in a serious version of ‘Hallo Hallo’ as a member of the British Gestapo, thinly slicing up a frankfurter and saying to a busy, hapless Café Owner: ‘each slice is for the imprisoned famished Corbynistas, they’re lucky it’s edible.’

Grant truly despises Communists, so you can imagine the abhorrence when she recalled Boris Johnson’s first PMQs didn’t exactly go to plan. If it was Corbyn her nostrils would widen fire would flick out incessantly, setting off all the smoke alarms in the building. She’ll blame Bercow or Corbyn for time loss for queueing up outside on grounds of simply existing and looking like a Geography teacher she found nauseating while having stomach cramps. Every uncomfortable sensation whether biological or metaphysical somehow could be affiliated to a Bercow or a Red Flag or a Marxist – much of these three entities interchange, dependent of scorn; alas they’re in the box of Grant‘s most despicable things.

Knee-jerk hyperbole is a Grant speciality to the point of one-dimensional and outlandishly assumptive – I refer to an off the cuff remark that highlighted the Speaker is a biased egomaniac quite a bitter comment to make in the Tory Graph purely because a Speaker has to be impartial and must coordinate the House of Commons under the veil of a seventeenth century barnstormer.  If Grant did her history homework she’ll denote there’s a direct correlation to Bercow and Sir Thomas de Hungerford; although, shuffles were a common practice – today, oratory deliverance has to play a vital part in this thespian melodrama. Especially when men are playing badly and women are throwing implausible Withdrawal Agreements at parliamentarians because you can never have enough failures – encore.

Rise of populism has escaped Madeline Grant, her protectionist stance clouds her judgment and invariably the comfort grounds of Left-y battering comes to her rescue, not that it bothers me it’s amusing to say the least, however Grant means it.  Corbyn became Labour Leader in 2015 yet somehow the Opposition has recently lurched leftwards, quite a bold statement considering there’s a Labour coalition of interests with all parties against a No-Deal Brexit scenario. Something (Lord knows what this is!)Grant is quite at home with. To complex matters further she believes socialism is gaining political momentum, meanwhile Conservatism is as static as a Landseer lion; a party which is commandeering and the most liberal due to being an advocate for same-sex marriage.

This dire socialist momentum gifted scholars in the US namely Kristen R. Ghodsee to ‘improperly’ claim that under socialism women have better sex. People enjoying themselves under such a disguise infuriates Grant, there’s only one impressive rack worthy of observation and that came out on one specific day back yonder under the gaze of student shenanigans – obviously before Ghodsee  flaunted  the hideous concept: ‘culture and relations could be freed up from market influences.’  Naturally, we all know of the adage;  ‘If you’ve got it flaunt it’, albeit, Madeline Grant has quite an inflated imagination, at least Germaine Greer mixed with the globetrotting flaunters of yesteryear and could pout with the best of them.

I can only see Grant embarrassed over an exploding German sausage --- call it friendly fire… however this is the problem with isolationists of the ilk of Grant, they’ve lost their ability to see the irony and research on Reich connections in the 1930s, days after the Reichstag fire, under the perversity of ‘will of the people’ propaganda leading up to the Enabling Act of (1933). Every nuance transpires to something unconnected… for example Grant believes sex under socialism for women should be pretty disgusting because gulags, purges and man-made famines aren’t exactly sexually exciting. And the availability of contraceptives was in short supply these equate to a rather ‘un-sexy’ reality of socialist life.  ‘Allo allo…’ what happened to lustful, carnal abandonment during the pique of passion? Didn’t you know that Rene the Café Owner spent quite a while in the broom cupboard… during the whore.  For Christ’s sake, you’re not pondering about the state of the gulags from the 1930 – 55 epoch and tutting at the man-made famines and getting irritated at the poor supply of sanitary towels in the local shop when lascivious sin encroaches.

You get a sense Grant deplores the concept of socialism sex, for it implies procreation in the ickiest arena, haven’t they got any class or material requests?  Bi-directional gif imagery on a device doesn’t cut the mustard for their socialist ‘misery’ deserves actual canoodling. Just ask the baby-boomers about food and fun shortages – how did their parents cope? A tin of spam and thank you mam; a baker’s dozen in the oven ready for impromptu prodding - too often I seek the macroeconomics of Sanandaji distorting the gender equality paradox and proclaiming women are abnormally over stretched than men when it comes to parenthood. Y'see under capitalism there’s no incentive for new generational growth in the twenty-first century - zilch. Although, this won’t faze Grant, her quest for sexual equality derives from economic independence so long a mug pays for the non-equal sharing of ‘Chablis’ – made a billion times worse if Millennial Socialism actually encouraged sharing -  equating to true equality.

What is disturbing is the short-sightedness of youthful Tory Graph contributors; they must know that neo-liberalism has failed, they’re aware that the political landscape is changing away from the austere shackles of conservatism and yet Madeline Grant and her ilk almost descend into a meltdown at the mere Thought of Social values. Exhorting they’re an abstract without tangibility – Grant even avowals at the fact loquacious socialists come out of their comfort zones and attempt to reinvigorate archaic socialisms, that does at least have geopolitical structures. The irony is Grant being a protectionist doesn’t abide to the same tangible policy proposals in regards to G7 national isolationism; where there’s no macroeconomic blueprint formula in the modern era – basically a constructed fantasy, in accordance to Boris Johnson’s EU negotiations while being the Incredible Hulk.

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